Wednesday, March 12, 2014

How to talk to a dying man...

My home away from home...
 
How not to talk to a person with a life threatening disease...
 
I had a musician message me that I had taught them the meaning of dignity in regards to how I am handling my fight with Liver disease. Not sure of how accurate that is but since I am normally on the receiving end of not so nice cyber attacks, I'll take it.
 
Rule Number One:
Never say, "I know how you must feel"
 
Really? Cause unless a highly trained physician just handed you a death sentence then I don't think you have a clue...
 
Rule Number Two:
The power of prayer saved my grandmother, uncle, brother or cat...
 
Really? So God makes life and death decisions based on arbitrary attempts at communication? So if an evil brutal dictator gets cancer and prays then God will spare him so he can go back to terrorizing his own people?
 
Do you see where your logic crashes and burns?
 
Rule Number Three:
Don't tell us about someone else's illness. We don't care. It robs us of our humanity and perhaps the only thing we do have left, our dignity. This is not about YOU or someone you know but it is about the person who is dying in front of you.
 
There are I believe 7 stages of grief and not all of us will go through all of them. Some will go through them all at once.
 
How to talk to a person with a life threatening illness...
 
Don't talk.
 
LISTEN.