Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Thanksgiving...A One Day Exercise In Being Grateful

In a little over two week most Americans will be settling in for the Thanksgiving holiday. A one day reminder in counting your blessings seems to be nothing more than filling a square since 24 hours later we have Black Friday and the insane greed that is the Christmas season.

I'm not thankful this year...I am grateful when I can wake up and actually feel like eating something. I am grateful when I can get eight hours of sleep or walk into a room and remember what I am actually doing there. I have advanced liver disease. There is no cure. Transplants are not a cure and on average buy you five more "good" years. Experimental treatments are just that...experimental.

I appreciate the little things. I don't appreciate being tired, the endless series of blood tests, hospital stays and the myriad of hoops that my doctors are having me jump through. To sit down to a meal that I can't even eat thanks to my dietary restrictions is a waste of my time and those close to me know that one thing you don't do is waste my time. I get fussy.

Thanksgiving is now simply another day. I will have turned 52 a few days earlier and given the events of this past year, I'm lucky. I'm luckier than most.

I find it utterly hypocritical to pretend to go through the motions as part of a "happy nuclear family" when no such unit now exists in my household. Thanksgiving is appreciating each and every day what you have cause you aren't going to have it forever.

I'll be grateful for a good cup of coffee and to feel reasonably well that day.
I'm not thankful. I'm grateful...There is a difference.