Wednesday, August 28, 2013

An illness put to paper.

In a little less than 30 hours I go in for my fifth surgery...

My platelet count is dangerously low, my encephalopathy seems to be getting worse yet I am still oddly concerned more with writing reviews than I am my own physical well being to a greater extent. Perhaps writing is a defense mechanism for not dealing with some of the obvious issues that at times are scaring the living shit out of me.

There are 3 primary stages to encephalopathy and I would appear to be mid to late stage 2 maybe early 3. Stage 4 is literally a casket. Before stage three ends you lose all cognitive function, my ability to write will be gone. I have made the majority of this public with numerous artists applauding me for documenting my journey with this chronic illness - liver disease.

I started a new web site, actually a front door so to speak for my existing site only to have the head of a label in Europe essentially trash my efforts because his i phone would not pick it up...My Samsung Rugby picks it up fine. I am also aware my traffic from mobile devices is roughly 8% of the 30,000 plus that are reading me each month. The criticism is fine but to make public his perceived limitations of my work when he is in fact in the business are classless and stupid given the fact I have given his label and artists glowing feedback. Have another publicist asking if I am ever going to get to a specific release...Have a third that decided to slap my hand for publishing reviews "too early"...The artist was fine with it. Publicists are like the elderly, they love to be needed but in most occasions their usefulness has long since left them. Don't want me to review a release too early, then don't send it...How hard is that?

My point...during this time of acute self awareness and finding yourself in the middle of people that only want what they can get out of you it would be very easy to take my natural cynicism to the next level. I will still hold on to the belief and the contact with those that truly give a shit and realize life is far more than a release date. Had an artist attempt to tell me "what I meant..." last night. Guess how fast this arrogant fuck was pulled off my site?

I still have a pulse. I may not be Down Beat but never piss off a critic on any level. Word of mouth has killed many a business and bad publicity is just that...bad.